Tedious.....

Having a cast on your leg makes everything rather tedious.... I'm one of these people, where, if something needs doing, I get up and do it - job done - but now I have to 'think' about doing something, explore the logistics, and....well.... quite frankly... it's tedious!

It's been a lesson in patience (something I will readily admit that I haven't much of!), its also been an eye opener to my perception of disability.
Part of me thinks "thank goodness I've only got X amount of weeks left"....and then another part of me thinks would I be more accepting and patient if I knew this was permanent - makes you think......

I also thought I was a strong person and that this "minor set-back" would have been a bit of a breeze.... but boy I've found it hard... 
Every now and then I could have done with someone taking my hand and saying hey girl, it'll be alright... Oh I know it's not life threatening or anything...but to me it's a big deal.

Nobody has it easy, everyone has some issue or another in their life, and you never know what another person is going through. You need to remember to pause a while before you start judging, criticising or mocking someone, as everyone is fighting their own unique battle...and this has been my battle!

I have people tell me this injury is 'self-inflicted'...or 'your own fault'.....and I'm constantly asked "are you going to stop running/jogging/walking?"

I do exercise because I LOVE it and because its my therapy - it's cheaper than a therapist and isn't illegal, immoral or fattening!
However much I love my job...it gets to me day after day after day of listening to people's problems, of counselling, of discussing bad news, poor prognosis, bereavement, abuse, domestic violence, loneliness....... running or walking is an escape from this - a chance to 'zone out' and 'run away' - a bit of 'me time'...

Running releases 'endorphins'  - the bodies natural pain killers, the 'happy hormones' - I've not done anything since last August - and I'm almost on empty!!

So, my friends, whilst you may think that me prattling on about not being able to do anything is tedious, it's a big deal to me so there!

Patient... no patience!

I have had a plaster cast on for 2 days and it is driving me nuts!!!
How anyone  can balance on two wobbly sticks when their centre of gravity has been compromised is beyond me....mind you, balancing is beyond me with two flat feet most times!!

I have had another MRI scan.... and despite me doing everything I was told, this fluid that has been accumulating around the joints in my foot and getting into the 'soft tissue' has got no better - at all.
The consultant is unsure why,  numerous blood tests haven't revealed anything, and I'm baffled... My trainers have cobwebs on them from lack of use... my gym membership has been cancelled.... the last time I ran a race was in August last year - just when my English Athletics number came through meaning I can carry on competing - typical!!

So..... I'm in plaster for 6-8 weeks restricting ANY load going through my foot to see if THAT works.... 

Fine for my foot, not for my mentality (or Chris' if you listen to him go on and on....!!) 
I have HUGE admiration for people with limited mobility, as this requires a lot of patience, and I was right at the end of the queue when it was dished out!

Chris keeps telling me how well he did when he was in plaster - hmmmmm...the benefit of those rose tinted glasses... I just remember having to sell my car for an automatic so that he could get to work.. and me doing everything at home as normal anyway - doh!!

 So... I've checked with DVLA and my insurers and I can use said automatic and will get back to work on Monday - at least if I can do paperwork I will be away from the persuasions of 'Jeremy Kyle' and the 'Loose Women'.. and won't be persuaded to buy a 'House under the Hammer'.......

And on the subject of no patience......
SNOW??  With crutches??  Argh !!!!

Oofa!

My niece and nephew Jack and Josey, have, by marriage, Arabic relatives.... which meant that the odd Arabic word crept into conversation. The best ( and only ) one I can remember is oofa .
Oofa describes a pain. A lump, a bump, a cut, a scrape, a bruise, a break, basically something that hurts.
And the point to why I am telling you this?? Well, it's because I have an Oofa!! 
I'm a little tired of telling everyone that my foot STILL hurts.. That it's painful... I've decided to tell people I have an oofa - much better!!

So, my oofa.... even though I have done as I've been told (that is incredible in itself and worthy of a pause and some consideration........ok....resume reading) my oofa isn't improving. I have spent FOUR months resting it, no long distance walking, no running, no gym, I massage it with ice gel, I take my anti-inflammatories and....nothing is happening!!

AND... 'Wind-up Wendy', our receptionist at work had the audacity to suggest I may be becoming grumpy through lack of exercise......bah!

So, the latest is, my GP  has referred me back to my consultant, as she too agrees that after FOUR months my oofa should be getting better.....and she wants me well enough to walk her dog Lily next holidays...!!

So... In the meantime.... me and my oofa are to sit on the sofa and eat chocolate .... How can that make me grumpy?!?!?

Bikes and Butts..

I just don't know how my brother Tim (aka Homer Simpson) does it... I spent 30 minutes and 6.5 miles on a bike at the gym and it was mind- numbingly, butt- numbingly gruesome!!
Tim cycles miles and miles and miles, for hours and hours and hours at a time..... yes, he has to rub cream in to his nether regions ( interestingly called 'nu butt'!!).... but, honestly, I can't quite see the appeal.
( You can read about his adventures/exploits/torture at http://challengemenace.blogspot.com.)

But, according to my consultant, this is just about the only exercise I can do at the moment :-(

After a 3rd opinion I've finally found out what's wrong with the old foot! After 6 weeks of rest it was getting no better, so my GP referred me to an orthopaedic consultant in a specialist foot and ankle clinic..... one MRI scan later and I had my answer....

I have an 'overload syndrome/reaction' which has caused a build up of 'lots' of fluid around the middle and lateral cuneiform bones and the talonavicular and posterior subtalar joints..... basically, too much high impact exercise = too much fluid around the joints= pain and swelling= need to rest big time= arghhhh!!!

 The treatment is rest, and hopefully the fluid will disperse and reabsorb....I asked the consultant (who was absolutely gorgeous by the way!!) if they could aspirate, but apparently there is too much, in too many pockets.....
..and anti- inflammatories... and I have to regularly ice my foot.... which is a bit of a bugger really (sorry Mom for the language, no other word adequately expresses the right feeling...)coz I HATE the cold....

But worst (or worse??) of all, is having someone ( even if he was gorgeous) dictate my exercise regime..... Only cycling :-(  or swimming :-(  :-(      or static weights until at least after Christmas "and then we'll see.." Bah!

Swimming is, well, wet..... and, well, there's not a lot else to say about cycling......I gave body pump a go last night and did most of the class, I had to miss lunges as there was a lot of jumping about, but I managed the rest, but didn't feel it was 'cardio' enough....so..... roll on Christmas!! It's only about 60 odd sleeps!!

Tears and tissues.........

The title isn't 'tears' as in crying but tears as in 'ripped' - just in case you thought I'd gone all soft....mind you - it could possibly mean tears of frustration as my left foot is still giving me gyp!

After two xrays which didn't show anything, a second GP had a look, and thinks I have some tiny tears in the plantar tissue which runs along the bottom of the foot, literally from heel to the start of the toe, and he feels that this is my problem....as the tissue is the same as ligament/tendon, its going to take a 'long while to heal'...which = REST, which I have done (honestly..cross-my-heart) for the last month, and it's no better...in fact today...there were real tears as I think it's worse :-(

The GP said 1 in 10 athletes (Yay..he thinks I'm an athlete..not a nutter like the last GP!!)will suffer from this as some point, due to 'high impact'...and this plantar tissue is, in effect, my 'shock absorber', taking, when I'm running, all my body weight at full force, typically 90 times a minute - OUCH!!
He has recommended no impact sport - so no running, no body attack, but has said I CAN walk on a treadmill as there is some 'give', no pavement walking, only soft surfaces such as grass or grassy track, no inclines whatsoever - in fact, he recommended changing sport completely for a while to swimming......

I used to love swimming....but in the winter I find it cold..and very wet!! I don't mind the sea, and body boarding or surfing as that is a challenge....but length after length in a pool I find very mind numbing...and there are usually lots of children..it's just kid soup!

So, this morning, I took myself and my gammy foot to the gym to see how we would do on the treadmill...on a fairly low speed (7.6) with no incline....and I managed 5 minutes.......

It felt like I was walking on broken glass...normal day to day walking makes my foot ache, but putting the speed up - 'pounding' somewhat....and I couldn't do it...and I didn't know whether to sit down, fall down or have a melt-down.........

I think I felt that after doing EVERY thing I had been told to do, IE rest, etc etc, and come back slowly, that everything would be OK..and it wasn't......and firstly, it's extremely frustrating...but secondly, it's a bit scary, because that's what I do, and I don't know WHAT else to do!
So, I packed up, came home and had a good think, and tried to put into perspective that it is only an injury, and that it may take a little longer to heal..and then I thought some more.....and thought that my therapy for 'thinking things through' was exercise...so that's when I needed the 'tissues' of the title.......

Feeling sorry for oneself isn't a good thing...so I did start to think how lucky I was in the grand scheme of things...yes, this will take time, but yes, it will get better...yes, I may have to re-think an exercise plan for the next few weeks, but I haven't got to change my life permanently, for example like some of the paralympians had to,following their life changing experiences......but, it is still difficult.
I'm not good with pain, I'm even worse with painkillers.....and it's difficult with a husband who tells you to 'get over it' - but I see the Roses tins of chocolates are back in Tescos for £4...so maybe that could be my new therapy.....it's got to be better than tears and tissues...........

Disappointed.....

For the first time EVER I have had to pull out of a race due to injury, and I'm soooo disappointed......

Unfortunately the old feet aren't recovering as well, or as quickly, as I would like.... and the next person who tells me that it's my age will be kicked - or would be if I COULD kick!!

My right foot is perfect, I've done the right things as per GP instruction - no exercise, splints, elevation, analgesia, but my left foot just isn't playing ball - literally!
It aches around the ankle joint and across the top part of the foot, and as there is absolutely nothing to see I don't get much sympathy from the members in my family!

I had a phone call from the secretary of Surrey Walking Club on Monday, asking if I would like to represent them in Colchester this Saturday, as I'm now a member, and it was horrible having to say 'no'..... normally I run aches and pains out....and admittedly I did try walking the dogs yesterday to see how it felt....I did half a mile, all I could manage,  which was a bit rubbish really!!

And I'm beginning to feel a little ( not a lot!!) bit sorry for Chris as not exercising makes me feel soooooo cranky, tired and bad-tempered.... Poor Chris... he's a little disappointed too!

R&R

I find sitting still really, really hard..... It's just not in my nature! And lovely as this cottage is.....with peaceful gardens, bubbling stream , tranquil summer house..... I'm a fidget!!
I want to run....and run, and run!
There are so many footpaths around here, tracks, trails, roads, fields..... just begging to be explored.
Unfortunately...my feet still ache, my ankles burn... and whereas I would normally run a few aches and niggles off...I know that this time I need to heed the GPs words of wisdom (even if she did call me a nutter...) but it's hard! I can feel myself becoming very irritable and getting 'twitchy' .....and I haven't even had a week of rest yet!!

What makes it worse.... is that I  a had an email off Sandra Brown on Saturday....who? I hear you ask....well, let me explain!!

Sandra Brown is the chairperson of the Centurions...and friend of my 'new best friend Jim'! 
She had heard that I couldn't compete in the Colchester Centurions in September due to not having an English athletics (Jim and I had spent 27.1 miles talking about this!!) number.......and, short story, she wanted to propose that I joined Surrey Athletics Club under her proposal, with Jim sponsoring me....giving me a place to do the Centurions on 22nd September!!

Oh darn it!!

Talk about timing.....
Firstly I was annoyed that I couldn't do the race (not that I would have done a 100 miles before anyone gasps - I would have done what I could, gone for the experience etc etc) so I booked a marathon for that day instead...
And secondly I now have 'poorly' feet.......pants!

Oh darn it!!

So my feet are getting some R&R but my head is spinning!

Trendy black elastic ankle support -perfect in the 20c sunshine!



Tranquil Waterfall Cottage garden



Waterfall Cottage, Burley, New Forest.

Feet elevated (on rope swing!!!)